A Bengali wedding is a beautiful affair. Despite its simplicity, it comes across as sheer poetry, then to the traditions and customs attached to it.
Bengali matrimony is marked by various traditions, rituals, and superstitions, which make it a class apart compared to other weddings around India. A Bengali wedding is an elaborate affair, marked by several rituals. Bengali weddings are traditionally in four parts: the bride’s Gaye Holud, the groom’s Gaye Holud, the Beeye, and the Bou Bhaat.
These often take place on separate days. The first event in a wedding is informal: the groom presents the bride with a ring marking the “engagement”, a system which is gaining popularity. This can sometimes be considered as Ashirwaad. There can be subtle differences in Bengali Hindu marriages in West Bengal and Bangladesh.
The rituals sometimes differ. In Paaka Katha (last talk), the parents of the bride/groom, along with one or two very close relatives/friends, go to the other party’s house to formally settle the marriage.
A lunch/dinner may follow it. When the bor jatri reaches the bride’s place, usually the mother of the bride along with other members comes out to welcome the groom and his family by showing the holy earthen lamp, sprinkling trefoil, and husked rice placed on a bamboo winnow (kula).
Then they are served sweets and drinks. When the ceremony starts, the bride encircles the groom sitting on a small wooden piri, carried by her brothers. They cover her face with betel leaves. On reaching her new house, the bride cooks a scrumptious meal for the groom and his relatives.
This is followed by a lavish reception for all guests. Arranging a wedding is a relatively complex affair with many moving parts. Even a simple wedding requires 5–8 vendors and 300–500 guests. To simplify the process, there are event management companies that help in executing the process.
The selection of a food menu for the dinner party on the occasion of a Bengali wedding ceremony is a very critical aspect of successfully arranging a wedding. In the past, weddings would take place in the wife’s home as community centers were not available. Many people would be invited to the wedding.
In the villages, in the past, the women would sing geet, a traditional song sung at weddings and dance. Nowadays, modern music has taken over the geet and they hold most of the weddings at community centers.
Nowadays, some weddings are made as a joint program where the biye and boubhat are arranged together sponsored by the parents of both the wife and the husband.
