In France, a complaint is an appropriate and frequent conversation starter – however, people have to perfect the art of knowing when to do it, to whom and about what to complain.
Many conversations in the European country begins with a sigh and a lament: the weather is bad; the grape harvest is worse; politicians are inept and stupid to boot.
It makes one wonder why the French are always in such a bad mood. However, locals do not see it this way. They assert that they are not complainers, rather, they are râleurs.
In France, there are several words for “to complain”: there’s “se plaindre”, used for regular old complaining; there’s “porter plainte”, for complaining more officially. And then there’s “râler”: complaining just for the fun of it.
According to Dr Gemma King, senior lecturer in French at the Australian National University “you might râler about doing something but still do it (albeit begrudgingly), whereas porter plainte implies you will not be doing something and someone will be hearing about why.”
In France, this light complaint is always used to start conversations. One could begin talking about a restaurant by focusing on the poor service during an otherwise great meal or highlight the fact that the east-facing windows in your new flat mean you now have to buy curtains.
But while, as Julie Barlow, Canadian journalist and co-author of The Bonjour Effect, explained, “To Americans, saying something negative sounds like you’re closing the conversation”, in France, such comments are perceived as “a way to invite other people’s opinions”.
In France, conversations could instead be likened to “duels” and the opening punch may well be a complaint – a display of demonstrable intellect.
The French are optimistic and positive about themselves and their lives, but they tend to be really hard on their country
The French attitude towards complaining is uncomfortable for many Anglophones, many of whom argue that negativity breeds negativity. But according to some experts, the French attitude may in fact be better for your health.
A 2013 study from the University of Texas at Austin found that bottling up negative emotions can make people more aggressive. This isn’t to say that complaining is always positive. Complaining too often can get you caught in a spiral, actually rewiring your brain to always focus on the negative.
But French râleurs may well avoid this unfortunate side effect, in part because they rarely complain about their own lives but rather about external issues.
According to a poll on the practice, 48% of French people surveyed said that the thing that they complained about most was the government.
Personal issues, meanwhile, are very low on the list of things the French choose to râle about, according to the poll, with 23% complaining when people don’t call them back, 33% complaining when they can’t find their keys or phone and only 12% complaining about issues linked to their children.
“I think the French are optimistic and positive about themselves and their lives, but they tend to be really hard on their country,” said Barlow. “Don’t go to a party and praise France; people will laugh at you.”
