8 sure signs you have an emotional connection with your partner

Emotional connection is sharing a common unspoken language with your significant other.

It’s staying attuned to their needs and problems and following up when you know they’ve got a big interview coming up or just got into a squabble with their mom.

It’s a synergy between two personalities that creates a balance between pushing the other toward growth and remaining a comfortable place to fall.

This type of connection is the glue that holds your relationship together. It’s the X-factor that keeps your bond strong.

It’s trust, understanding and a core component of all types of love. But not every couple has it. Do you? Here are the signs.

1. You are friends first
No matter how far your relationship evolves, the foundation of the relationship is a strong friendship. You respect each other in a human way. You value their thoughts. You want their input, and you enjoy their company. If all else was stripped away, and the romantic relationship never existed, you’d still want to know this person and call them a friend.

2. You develop rapport, inside jokes, shared experiences
Emotional connection is all about developing a shared experience of the world: going on trips, working on projects, partaking in hobbies, finding common ground you can refer back to for years. There’s ease born of these experiences, and they make for the strongest foundation. The more history you have, the more likely you are to have a deep emotional connection.

3. You talk every day and develop routines
An important element of emotional connection is consistency and reliability, which means your partner isn’t going off the grid for long spans of time or refusing to stay in touch during the day. You should be able to anticipate hearing from them. They should respond quickly to your contacts. You should talk regularly and see each other often.

4. You can have deep conversations (or just sit in silence)
No, emotional connection does not always mean you have to talk nonstop; it’s amazing how many people believe that! More than anything, an emotional connection with your partner is the ability to have deep, substantial conversations about things you’d struggle to talk to just anyone about. On the flip side, those with strong emotional connections can also just enjoy each other’s company and can sit in total silence, comfortably.

5. When something major happens—good, or bad—you want to tell them
When you find out big news like you got a promotion or your grandmother is sick, who do you tell? If you wouldn’t tell your significant other first, I’d question the strength of that emotional bond. If you have a strong emotional connection to your partner, they are your automatic first call or text. You don’t even think twice. You know everything, moments after it happens.

6. You don’t withhold crucial information about your life (aka you trust them with secrets)
If you don’t have a strong emotional connection with your partner, you might withhold from them for a couple of reasons. One, you may not fully trust them with the information; will they be able to handle it emotionally and be a rock for you? Will they tell someone else and break your trust? Those with strong emotional connections to their partners always share the big developments and reveal secrets when they matter because they genuinely want to share in that with them.

7. You can be vulnerable with them
Can you tell your partner about your biggest sexual hang-up? Can you tell them your biggest fear? Can you break down in front of them without judgment, or let them in on the way anxiety affects your life? If you have an emotional connection with your partner, you can let your guard down without assuming they’ll believe you’re “too much” or broken.

8. You engage in non-intimate touching on a regular basis
In couples, all forms of touch are not created equal. Some touch is electric, sensual, full of chemistry and ultimately meant to lead to sex. But partners with an emotional connection also engage in to