Raise your hand if you’re working on wedding planning and you’re feeling stressed out about cutting potential guests. You too? Phew, that’s a relief.
It is totally normal to be a little worried about not inviting people to your wedding. The good news? You don’t have to invite everyone.
Weddings are a huge expense, especially if you are planning a wedding on a budget and there is a reason you can’t invite the entire world—it would cost a fortune.
Plus, some people just want to have an intimate celebration with a small, select group of people.
Whatever your style is, when it comes time to make your guest, there are some people you shouldn’t feel forced to invite.
Here’s a list of them below:
1. Every. single. coworker
Depending on where you work, you may feel some sort of pressure to invite a ton of people from the office. And while you may have friendships with some people from work, it is unlikely that you’ve forged a close bond with everyone. If you frequently text about topics outside of work or you spend time together on the weekend, you can go ahead and extend the invite. If you have a strictly professional relationship with your bosses or coworkers—it’s okay to skip them.
2. Distant family members
Have you met my distant cousin who lives in Texas? No? Me neither. And the only reason he is a ‘distant’ cousin is because he lives far and I’ve never met him… but technically he is my first cousin. This is a perfect example of distant family members that do not have to make the list. Just because you’re related doesn’t mean the invitation is automatic—especially if you have close friends who have earned the invite. And don’t let guilt from other family members get you down. It’s your day—you (and your partner) get to make the final decision on who is in and who is out.
3. Plus ones
This is a tough one. If you ask your friends opinion on this, the response you get might vary. Some might say it’s rude to invite people without a plus one. I mean, have you been to a wedding without a plus one? Regardless, if you’re really trying to cut your list down and the friend you’re inviting doesn’t have a long-term beau? It’s okay to invite them without a guest, as long as you know they’ll have people to talk to and be comfortable with.
4. Ex lovers
Once upon a time, I definitely thought I would be inviting my first love to my wedding, no matter who it was too. When you have a strong bond with someone, it’s hard to believe that one day it would be inappropriate for them to be there for your big day. Unless you dated ages ago and the ex hangs with you and you’re betrothed often and things are totally cool, it’d probably be best to leave them off the list. After all, an ex should stay an ex for a reason. Even if your mother totally loves your ex, don’t send them a save the date.
5. Friends from high school or college
We all have those people. The friends we swore we’d grow old with. The ones who knew everything about us back in 10th grade. Over the years something happened, you grew apart from one another. It’s hard to imagine the old crew not being there for your big day, but if you haven’t been close with them in a while—its time to reconsider. It doesn’t have to be a battle of college friendships vs. high school friendships when it comes to who’s getting invites. Just because you were great friends at one time does not make you obligated to invite them.
6. A couple who’s wedding you went to
In a perfect world, I suppose it would be polite to invite someone who’s wedding you were invited to, but it certainly is not an obligation. Maybe their wedding was over a decade ago or maybe you’ve fallen out. Or perhaps you were a last minute invite to fill their quota. Regardless, an invite to their wedding does not equal an invite to yours.
7. Children
Oh, those little rugrats. Love them or just like them, only you and your fiancé get to decide if your wedding is kid friendly. Things to consider: is your venue suitable for kids? Will the parents be able to enjoy themselves and keep an eye on their children? You can decide to invite only the children of family or none at all! In my opinion, most parents would gladly take the night off of parenting for a celebration. If the child is closer to a teen than a toddler, count them as an adult!
8. Neighbors
Are you having a local wedding that is the talk of the town? Chances are, your neighbor knows about it. Depending on where you live, it can be hard to avoid the folks next door, and maybe you don’t want to. But when it comes to your wedding, if the neighbors are just casual friends, you can safely take them off the list.
9. Anyone who doesn’t approve of your marriage
This one may seem like a no-brainer, but a lot of people feel guilty and obligated to invite people who haven’t been supportive of their relationship. Let me be clear: if they don’t, they fall into the category of people you shouldn’t feel forced to invite to your wedding. If for any reason you’re considering inviting someone who has been negative about your relationship—don’t. Those people have no place on the guest list. Screw the judgmental ones.
