How to regain broken trust in a relationship

Trust is the rock upon which all relationships exist. If that rock is chipped away by deceit, over time the foundation crumbles.

When something more serious happens such as infidelity in a marriage, the trust and foundation are broken in an instant. It is not easy to rebuild trust but it is possible.

Whether the trust is broken between a friendship or a marriage, the steps and formula for overcoming the broken trust are the same.

In any relationship where trust is broken, both parties must be willing to work through the brokenness in order to heal the relationship. It is not a one sided process.

When the party who has been hurt does not want to reconcile because the hurt is too deep, then the relationship cannot be restored.

Likewise, if the offending party does not want to own up to their wrong doing that broke the trust, then the relationship cannot be restored in that situation either.

Here are five ways to regain broken trust in a relationship:

1. Practice forgiveness

If you want to repair a relationship after a betrayal, forgiveness is key. Not only will you need to forgive your partner, but you also may need to forgive yourself.

Blaming yourself in some way for what happened can keep you stuck in self-doubt. That can hurt the chances of your relationship’s recovery.

2. Avoid dwelling on the past

Once you’ve fully discussed the betrayal, it’s generally best to put the issue to bed. This means you don’t want to bring it up in future arguments.

You’ll also want to go easy on constantly checking in on your partner to make sure they aren’t lying to you again.

3. Rebuilding trust when you’ve hurt someone

You messed up. Maybe you lied and hurt your partner or withheld information you thought would hurt them.

No matter your reasons, you know you caused them pain, and you feel terrible. You may feel like you’d do anything to show them they can trust you again.

4. Apologize sincerely

If you lied, cheated, or otherwise damaged your partner’s faith in you, a genuine apology is a good way to start making amends. It’s important to acknowledge you made a mistake.

Just remember that your apology isn’t the time to justify your actions or explain the situation. If some factors did influence your actions, you can always share these with your partner after apologizing and owning your part in the situation.

5. Commit to clear communication

In the immediate aftermath of broken trust, you’ll want to honestly answer your partner’s questions and commit to being completely open with them in the future.

To do this, you have to make sure you’re clear on the level of communication they need.