This is mainly synonymous with the Igbo custom, although it is currently not as widely practiced as it was in the past. It is based on the belief that marriage should follow in order of seniority.
This caused a lot of fighting and controversy when the younger sibling will be ripe for marriage with a prospective bride or potential suitor but will have to wait for the older sibling to marry first. Marrying usually involves asking the young woman’s consent, introducing the woman to the man’s family, and the same for the man to the woman’s family, testing the bride’s character, checking the woman’s family background, and paying the brides’ wealth.
Typically, the bridewealth is more symbolic. Kola nuts, wine, goats, and chickens are listed in the proposal. Negotiating the bridewealth can also take over one day, giving both parties time for a ceremonial feast. Marriages were sometimes arranged from birth through the negotiation of the two families.
However, after a series of interviews conducted in the 1990s with 250 Igbo women, it was found that 94.4% of that sample population disapproved of arranged marriages. In the past, many Igbo men practiced polygamy. The polygamous family is made up of a man and his wives and all their children.
Men sometimes married multiple wives for economic reasons to have more people in the family, including children, to help on farms. Christian and civil marriages have changed the Igbo family since colonization. Igbo people now enter monogamous courtships and create nuclear families, mainly because of Western influence. Some Western marriage customs, such as weddings in a church, take place either before or after the Igbo cultural traditional marriage.
Younger siblings have to postpone their weddings with the one they love until their older siblings have married, or proceed without the blessing of their family. If it is a woman who has to wait for an older sister to marry, a potential groom could move on rather than wait. Where it was the lady that was affected, some men would prefer to leave the lady and marry outside such tribes if they couldn’t wait for the lady’s elder sister(s) to get married first.
Igbo weddings are known to spray money on the bride. This can be done at any time, although when the newlyweds step onto the dance floor is a popular moment. Money is usually thrown by older guests. The bridesmaids are tasked with collecting all the thrown money. The custom is a peculiar and expensive one that involves presenting a list of gift items, sometimes alongside cash, before marriage to the prospective bride can take place.
The list gets more expensive if the prospective bride is a bachelor’s degree holder and explodes if she has gained a master’s or doctorate degree. Many times, this fund solicitation has led to the collapse of courtships after the man realizes he cannot meet up the challenging requirements for marriage.
