Regardless of whichever tribe you hail from, you will readily agree with me that the man spends money toasting the girl. He spends money on introduction to inform the bride’s family of his intention formally in the presence of his own family.
He spends money for a dowry. He spends money on a traditional wedding. He very likely also spends money on the so-called white wedding in the church or mosque wedding.
There are also some who spend money on a court wedding. All these, of course, involve several hidden charges apart from the expenses blown away on logistics.
By the time processes are completed and conditions fulfilled, the couple is already deep in debt or thin on finances. Meanwhile, the girl’s family is happy to have been enriched by some lump sum.
For the Yoruba people of southwestern Nigeria, however, they prefer not to bother the groom and his family with the expenses of a dowry or bride price. Even most people and other tribes find it difficult to understand the reasons Yoruba don’t pay bride price which is known as dowry.
The Yoruba people do believe that collecting bride price or dowry means that they have sold their daughter to the groom family. And no amount of money you paid that can equate the money spent on her upbringing, her education and other things.
They usually uphold a principle that Yorubas don’t collect bride pride for their daughter. They give their daughters for free, but you must take good care of her and for all the monies you want to spend on bride price should kindly be used to take good care of her.
So they return the pride price (dowry) as a kind gesture to adopt the groom as a son. So they then become one family, both the bride’s family and that of the groom.
A dowry is usually paid in cash and put inside a white envelope, this is apart from other gifts item like yams, fruits rice, etc. The Yorubas believe in more than a day’s wedding, as such, this is one of the reasons bride price wasn’t adopted in exchange of their daughters.
As such they believe that taking good care of their daughter is more important than the bride price.
The Yorubas can be very lovely and kind people, hence, paying a bride price is not more important than giving their daughter a good life and happiness.
Marriage is more important than the wedding. The wedding is just a day’s ceremony while marriage is a long time union. Seeing their daughters happy and with joy in their marriage is the goal of many Yoruba people.
