Some relationships last a lifetime, while others come crumbling down within a few months of dating.
Strong and healthy relationships require a robust connection between two emotionally mature people. But not everyone is emotionally mature to be in a relationship.
Of course, people are different, but if you want your relationship to last, you need to be with someone who is mature enough to handle their own emotions.
Finding a partner who is mature and ready to be in a long-lasting relationship can be difficult. If it were easy, none of us would have to deal with ghosting and stonewalling.
If you want to avoid getting in a relationship with an emotionally immature person, then these seven signs below will help you sense the emotional maturation of a person:
1. They struggle to talk about their feelings
Some people think it’s funny to brag about being “allergic to feelings,” but the truth is, whether you admit it or not, everyone has feelings — and it’s immature to ignore them and pretend otherwise.
2. They don’t talk about the future
You don’t need to be planning your wedding from the first date, but if your partner is seemingly unable to commit to even the smallest future plans with you (like planning a quick camping trip), that’s a red flag.
3. You feel lonely in the relationship
The whole point of a relationship is to have a partner who makes you feel loved, supported, and respected — so there’s nothing worse than feeling like you’re totally alone in your relationship.
4. They keep things surface level
It can take time to really open up to someone and connect on a deeper level, but if you’ve been together for a long time and you still feel like your partner is holding back, that might mean they’re unwilling or unable to move past a surface-level relationship.
5. They pull away in times of stress
The best thing about being in a relationship with someone who’s truly an equal partner? You have someone on your side during all of life’s sh*tty moments.
If your partner is emotionally immature, they likely do not know how to support you when you’re going through a tough time, whether it’s job stress or a family crisis.
6. They don’t like compromise
I don’t think there’s anything less sexy in a partner than an inability to compromise. Being able to communicate your needs and find a middle-ground when an issue arises is ‘crucial’ for a relationship’s success, and if your partner would rather throw a tantrum than let you get your way, that’s a big problem.
7. They get defensive
Even if their feelings are a little hurt, a mature partner doesn’t get overly defensive at even the smallest criticism. In a healthy relationship, both partners should feel comfortable bringing up potential problems and working on them together.
One person shouldn’t have to walk on eggshells in fear of upsetting their partner. An emotionally immature partner becomes extremely defensive over even the smallest of things, especially if they are wrong.
