THE NUER CLAN | Where Marriage Is Officially Tied After Wife Gives Birth To The Third Child

The Nuer tribe are a Nilotic ethnic group settled in the Greater Upper Nile region of South Sudan.

They are the second-largest ethnic group in South Sudan. They also live in the Ethiopian region Gambella and speak the Nuer language.

The Nuer people are pastoralists who herd cattle for a living. Their cattle serve as companions and define their lifestyle. The Nuer call themselves “Naath”.

The marriage custom of the Nuer tribe is different from the typical African marriage customs.

In general, the Nuer marry within their own tribe, so that relationship ties do not transcend the tribal boundary.

First of all, one cannot marry within one’s own lineage or clan. In as much as clans may be very large, a wide segment of the population is thus prohibited from intermarriage.

The rule also prohibits marriage with any of the mother’s lineage, though not with other lineages in her clan, and even with those considered kindred by a fiction or analogy

Marriage, a home, and children are the goal in Nuer life for both males and females from early childhood.

After puberty, boys and girls have a good deal of freedom in experimental love-making and usually find their lovers without any particular interference from their respective families, but marriage is the purpose behind every romance.

In the final choice,..the girl’s family must approve of the suitor’s family. They should be steady, agreeable people with a sufficiency of cattle.

The actual marriage is made by payment of several heads of cattle [the bride price] from the groom’s family to the bride’s family.

Normally, three periods of payment and associated rituals are involved, which could be considered betrothal, wedding, and consummation.

At the time of the betrothal ceremony at the bride’s home, the groom’s family makes a token gift of a few cattle and the groom’s friend, a sort of Best Man acting as a negotiator, reaches an agreement with the bride’s family on the number of cattle to be given later and the dates for the subsequent ceremonies.

Then singing, dancing, and feasting on an ox follows. A few weeks later, after prolonged discussions and even apparent arguments have resulted in an agreement on the complexities of how many cattle will be presented and what proportions will go to particular kinsmen of the girl, the marriage feast is held, again at the girl’s home, with great numbers of relatives of both families present.

The true marriage occurs when the third feast is held, this time at the home of the groom. This ceremony is the significant one; it celebrates the final binding of the union of families, and not until this occasion does the husband have full conjugal rights over his wife.

High points in the ceremony are the first night when the bride and groom presumably have their first s3xual encounter; and in the morning, when an ox is sacrificed and a great feast is held, shared by the two families except for the bride, who is not allowed to eat in the home of her mother-in-law.

On this occasion, the bride is anointed with butter, and her head is shaved to signalize her change in status.

Nevertheless, the married couple do not actually live together until a child is born. The girl is given a special hut in her own family’s homestead, and the husband remains with his own family, making overnight visits to his wife whenever he can.

After a child is born, the husband is fully accepted as a member of the girl’s family. They stay with her family, however, only until the child is weaned, and then go to live in the husband’s village.

Husband, wife, and all of their respective kinsmen are most anxious for a child to be born. This is not only because they love children but also because the marriage is not stable until a child is born.

By the time she gives birth to a third child, the marriage is officially tied. However, there is a huge problem if the wife only produces one child after a given time frame.

The man would have to ask for a divorce, and then take back the cows he paid as bride price, or hold custody of the child.

Occasionally a man has more than one wife. The first wife has no special status; the Nuer believe all the wives should be treated equally.

A common cause of polygynous marriages, in addition to the levirate, arises when a man dies without male heirs, for it is believed that a man’s name should continue in his lineage and that his ghost will be angry should this fail to occur.

In such a situation, the woman is married by a brother or close kinsmen.