As the ‘Giant of Africa’ in terms of population, Nigerian roads play host to millions of commercial buses. For anyone who is a regular passenger on public buses, you’ll probably know that your ‘fellow citizens’ most times aren’t the ‘best version’ of themselves. The experience can be ‘crazy’ if you are smack-banged in the middle of a bus because you’ll always come across at least a handful of people you wish hadn’t left their houses in the morning.
You would find yourself stuck in reeking armpits or leaning as far away from someone scratching themselves beside you or getting inconvenient due to a bulky lady or man sitting next to you.
Nevertheless, let’s run you through different characters you’re likely to meet in Nigerian public vehicles:
The Evangelists
When you hear ‘Brethren, I am here to share the word of God with you.’ Na them! They simply love to preach and might even go as far as sharing flyers or religious pamphlets with you.
The 30 Billion Geng
They always have a higher denomination to pay for a trip with low fare. You’ll see them giving the conductor N1,000 note for a trip of N50.
The Mobile Sleepers
These passengers find it difficult to stay awake during commercial bus rides, even the brakes can’t wake them up. Sitting beside such people can prove to be a challenge because you could suddenly find their heads resting on your shoulder. Things can get worse if the person snores.
The Kind-hearted
These are the ones who voluntarily relinquish their seats for elderly people and pregnant women. They sacrifice their convenience to help them, especially in buses that have a section for standing.
The Mobile Chemists
These passengers are usually found in commercial buses that accommodate an erect adult. Once the bus is in motion, they get up from their seats, turn around to face the other passengers and say something funny to get their attention. Then they go on to market drugs that ‘cure’ different ailments.
The Wikipedias
You find them talking about history, records and facts when conversations crop up. Such passengers always have something to say about issues discussed by fellow passengers in the vehicle.
The Apple Music
Once they sit down, they bring out their mobile device, plug in an ‘earpiece’ and begin to listen to music. Most times, they listen to music till the end of the trip, while minding their business.
The Assistant Conductors: This category collects fares from other passengers to avoid struggling for ‘change’ with the conductor. You’ll hear them say: “Sorry bros, are you paying N50?” If you say yes, he or she collects your money and pays the conductor.
The Windbag
The windbag refers to that passenger who talks at length about anything that has little or no value. They could talk about the story of their lives, state of the nation and so on. They enjoy the convo better when other passengers get involved in their chosen topic.
The Missionary of Anger
The moment you slightly cross the path of someone in this category, he or she begins to bathe you and your family with curses and insults and even extends to your unborn children. The funny thing is when you first see them, they usually appear calm and gentle.
The Atomic Bombers
Things can get uncomfortable if you find yourself inside a bus with these characters, especially if you are stuck in traffic. These are passengers who let out farts and can smell like rotten eggs laced with sulphur. They can ruin your mood or the journey.
The Town Criers
When these set of people receive calls on a bus, other passengers in the next bus can hear them. It can be worse if they are angry at the person on the other side of the phone.
The Gentleman/Lady
These are the people who mind themselves on the bus. They exhibit courtesy, conduct themselves responsibly and respect the space of others. Anytime they are on the phone talking, you barely hear what they say.
Meanwhile, even if you have a car, you don’t have to always drive to work every day. Sometimes, you can opt for public vehicles and be on the lookout for the characters we described. If you use public buses regularly, which of these kinds of people have you met or which category do you belong to?
