We typically associate the characteristic of being “fake” to being “manipulative” or mean, but plenty of fake people act nice toward us which can make it more difficult to identify them and their true motives or personality.
Just because a person is fake doesn’t mean that they will be cruel toward you or others, or readily manipulate people like puppets on a string.
Usually this form of fakeness comes from insecurity and the desire to fit in.
They sacrifice their own genuine identity in favor of “fake” behavior that they believe will get them what they want.
Here are 5 ways to spot a fake nice person in your life:
1. They are people pleasers
They don’t just please people because they want to make you happy, they try to please everyone without concern for their actual opinions or yours.
They will agree with you, and just as readily agree with an opposing opinion because they want to make you like them. They will pretend to like all the same things that you like, just so that they can be included.
They aren’t worried about forming their own individual identity and opinions, they just want to agree with whomever is around who will elevate or include them socially.
There are people who are quiet, shy, or just good listeners but they will still typically offer up information about themselves and their likes or dislikes in a conversation when prompted.
2. They avoid questions about themselves
Fake people will redirect the conversation back to you and avoid answering any personal details about themselves.
This is because they don’t want to risk disclosing the “wrong” opinion, and would prefer to agree with whatever you say or think rather than create or express their own perspective.
3. They give you lavish gifts
There are people who are quiet, shy, or just good listeners but they will still typically offer up information about themselves and their likes or dislikes in a conversation when prompted.
Fake people will redirect the conversation back to you and avoid answering any personal details about themselves.
This is because they don’t want to risk disclosing the “wrong” opinion, and would prefer to agree with whatever you say or think rather than create or express their own perspective.
4. They give you lavish gifts
Gift giving is wonderful. It feels great to treat a loved one to something that they would like and to make them smile.
A fake person will give you lavish gifts—gifts you couldn’t begin to compete with—not to make you feel good, but to elevate themselves.
They view gift giving as a competition, not a kind gesture, and they are determined to win. If they can give the best gift, then they are the better person.
When a fake person gives you such a gift, it has nothing to do with you and making you happy, but to make you admire them and be indebted to them.
5. They respect power
A genuine person will be respectful to everyone, because that’s how we should treat each other. A fake person will be nice and respectful to you, but only if you have the power to get them what they want.
If you have more experience at the job, they will be nice to you so that they can get ahead. If you are the way in to a social circle, they will be nice to you in order to be invited to join.
The key is, once they get what they want their niceness and respect will go away or lessen. They don’t actually care about you as a person, they just want what you can offer.
