Children don’t come with an instruction manual. Every kid has his own unique identity.
They need different things, act differently and presume things differently. As a result, they need to be guided and raised distinctively.
Parents can only try different parenting styles to see what works with their kids and what does not. Sometimes they may fail while other times, they may gain success.
There is no set rule to raise a child. However, there are some principles of good parenting that may help to make more conscious decisions.
What are the basic principles of parenting?
Based on the social science research of about 75 years, Laurence Steinberg, PhD, framed out the ten basic principles of good parenting, which was published in a book of the same name.
Steinberg stated these principles are the foundation of good parenting. They can help encourage empathy, honesty, self-reliance, kindness, cooperation, and cheerfulness in kids; at the same time also prevent all sorts of child behaviour problems. They are not only helpful for parents, but for everyone who deals with children including coaches, teachers or babysitters. Here are Steinberg ten principles:
1. What you do matters
Kids learn from adults. They observe your every move carefully. The way you talk, the way you behave, the way you treat others or the way you act in times of crisis. If you want your kid to behave in a particular way, first you need to make changes in yourself. It is always better to ask yourself: “What effect will my decision have on my child?”
2. You cannot be too loving
Every parent loves and adores their kid, but you need to set a boundary. There is no limitation to the warmth and affection you would have for your kid. The problem begins when you start to take other things lightly in the name of love. Leniency, lowered expectations or material possessions as a way to express love will only spoil your kids.
3. Be involved in your child’s life
We understand that it might be difficult for you to manage the home and work together. There may be times when you would be more focused on work due to the approaching deadline, but that should not come in between you and your kid. Rearrange your priorities and be available for your kid both mentally as well as physically.
4. Adapt your parenting to fit your child
Like we already said there is no fixed way to raise and nurture a child. All you can do is try different methods to see what fits your child’s needs. You cannot try the same teaching or training method for your younger kid as you did for your older one. Try to understand what your kid needs, evolve and adapt your parenting style accordingly.
5. Establish and set rules
If you want to instill good behaviour in your kid, you need to set rules from an early age. Clearly state what is acceptable and what is not. Also, tell them the consequences of breaking the rules and stay firm on them. They may find it difficult to adjust in the beginning, but it would help to shape their future.
6. Foster your child’s independence
You cannot be there to protect and solve your child’s issues every single time. That’s why it is important to give some independence. This will help them develop a sense of direction and boost their confidence level. Controlling all their life decisions will only make them rebellious or disobedient.
7. Be consistent
Good parenting is not a one-day thing. You cannot enforce all the disciplinary actions one day for committing even the simplest mistake and forgo all the mistakes your kid makes the other day. You have to be consistent. Identify your non-negotiables as per the rules you have set for your kid.
8. Avoid harsh discipline
Punishing your kid for breaking the rules is important. But be careful about the way you choose to do it. Punishment should be according to the mistake they have committed. Avoid physical punishment like spanking or slapping. Opt for healthy discipline strategies.
