A toxic relationship is one in which you feel unsupported, diminished, unfulfilled, and maybe even trapped.
Often, the dynamic is so unhealthy and entrenched that it is difficult to recognize from the inside. However, there are certain things that you can look out for.
If you feel these things, you may be in a toxic relationship.
1. Jealous
Jealousy is a normal feeling, even in healthy relationships. However, if it becomes a constant, nagging emotion that underlies your thoughts about your partner, you should take a closer look at your relationship. It may be evidence of trust issues, emotional manipulation, or a lack of respect, all of which point to toxicity.
2. Controlling
Jealousy is the precursor to controlling behavior. If you think your partner is unfaithful or untrustworthy, you may begin to monitor their activity, facilitate their movements, or eavesdrop on their texts and conversations. This is a clear sign of a lack of trust and a breakdown in any respect you may have had for each other. Controlling your partner is a sign that you feel trapped and dependent because otherwise, you would have abandoned the relationship long ago.
3. Secretive
The flip side of controlling behavior is being secretive. If you feel that your partner is controlling you, you’ll likely try to hide your activity for fear of upsetting them or creating a misunderstanding. Secretiveness can be a signal that something much darker is present. If you are fearful of what your partner might do if they discover something they don’t like, you may be in an emotionally or physically abusive situation.
3. Lonely
You should never feel lonely in your relationship. Even when you’re away from your partner, you should feel loved and supported by him or her. Unless you are struggling with your own mental health, a relationship that leaves you feeling lonely is missing a fundamental ingredient and will never provide you with comfort or stability.
4. Insecure
Nothing indicates a toxic relationship more clearly than emotional insecurity. Feeling that your partner isn’t invested in you or that they may abandon you the moment a better option comes along is evidence of dysfunction. Try to identify the source of your insecurity. If it’s because you have your own struggles with self-image, you should seek to heal yourself before continuing a relationship with someone else. If it’s the relationship, your partner is not providing you with the love and reassurance you deserve.
5. Ignored
Feeling unheard or shut down whenever you ask for what you need is a sign of a toxic relationship. You need to be able to speak openly with your partner and feel mutual respect. Without it, you will be stuck in a cycle of hearing only your own side of the story and be completely incapable of productive communication. Without healthy dialogue, a relationship cannot last.
6. Resentful
Resentment builds when you feel ignored or when you are afraid to speak openly. You internalize all your anger, doubt, and loneliness until the dam breaks. Toxic relationships thrive off of resentment because the longer truths go unspoken, the longer you will stay together. Explosive arguments, though painful and upsetting, release the pent-up feelings and often mark the beginning of the end of a relationship. Resentment allows toxicity and codependency to multiply.
