5 signs your partner sees you as an option, not a priority

In any kind of relationship, no one wants to believe that they might not be a priority to the other person as much as that person is a priority to them.

If and when you reach such a realization, it is normal for you to want to ignore the signs or try to rationalize them.

Sticking around in the hope that the person will change how they treat you and make you their number one priority in life is an unhealthy illusion.

If your partner only makes you feel special on important occasions, such as Valentines day and your birthday, and then miserable the rest of the year, you should be mindful of these 5 major signs that clearly show your place in their lives:

1. All plans are on their terms
When seeing each other, arrangements are usually made at the last minute. This might mean that your partner exhausts all other options before confirming any plans with you.

For them, hanging out with you is something they do when there is no better alternative. As a result, you are likely to spend much of your time together indoors, with more adventurous activities being few and far between.

At the same time, they always want to know your plans, but rarely ever suggest things once you’ve told them. This is a way for them to know they have a safety net if all else fails.

2. You make all the effort and moves
From the first move, to the first date, to defining the relationship, you are always the one making all the effort.

If your partner takes forever to reply to your texts, they never organize any plans, and never call or text first, then you have cause to be alarmed.

Secondly, they only respond or reach out when they want something. They are otherwise too busy to get back to you, but give you major attitude if you don’t respond instantly to them – even when you are genuinely tied up with work.

3. Your partner treats you horribly
You constantly find yourself in situations where you have to make excuses for them to your friends and family regarding how they treat or talk to you. It may be embarrassing, especially if in public, but choosing to defend their actions is choosing to accept their bad behavior.

They accuse you of being crazy whenever you stand up for yourself and speak out on your issues. This kind of emotional manipulation is a clear indication that your partner has no regard or respect for your feelings.

No one should guilt you into taking mistreatment lying down. A partner who cares about you will take the time to try to understand where you are coming from and apologize.

4. You feel like you are not as important to them
They never take you as a ‘plus one’ to their important events or even to chill out with their friends. If you were a priority, you would be their go-to date for all events, from a simple night out with friends to their best friend’s wedding. They always bail/cancel on things that mean a lot to you.

And they always forget dates and events that are important to you. Only you remember your anniversary, birthdays, or other important moments in your lives. Your partner never does the same for you.

5. You feel generally unhappy and misused
He or she makes you feel genuinely unhappy, insecure, and misused. Around them, all your insecurities are heightened and you feel depressed.

Does seeing them no longer bring you joy or excitement? If the only time you, as partners, are not miserable during the year is on special days like holidays or birthdays, that is a huge red flag.

You constantly feel taken advantage of. Trust your intuition and if you feel like you are always sacrificing your life and dreams for your partner, it is time to re-evaluate your relationship priorities.